Stressed and disconnected…prayers right now would be greatly appreciated.
Yet again, there are several other things that I should be doing right now. And it’s really too late in the evening to be putting them off like this. However, because I’m slightly stressed, my mind is wandering and not cooperating with my attempts to focus, so I think I might be better off to take a *quick* break and get my thoughts written down. Sometimes after I organize the clutter in my brain, focus comes much easier.
Here’s what I was thinking about earlier this morning:
Two weeks from today I’ll be in Arizona. I’ve never been to Arizona before.
We’re flying in order to get there. I’ve never flown before either.
We’ll be living for a week in houses with people we’ve never met before, and we’ll be spending our days either building things for their upcoming VBS, or doing other service such as helping at the houses of the congregation’s shut-ins.
So basically, the whole week will be filled to the brim with experiences I’ve never had before. I’m all up for new experiences. Some people are scared by the idea of change, or doing things they haven’t done before, but I’m not one of them. I couldn’t be more excited about this trip.
However, that doesn’t mean there are no concerns.
I can’t help but be…moved by the seriousness of our purpose. We are going to do God’s Work. It’s very humbling to think about.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m ready.
It doesn’t matter how much I grow and learn, I never seem to reach the point where I feel that I’m knowledgeable enough or worthy enough speak on behalf of God. What if I screw up? And as a shy person there is always the fear of putting myself out there, especially about something that means so much to me (especially recently). I can’t completely define the fear, but its there.
But at the same time I have this intense desire to tell the whole world how awesome He is!! What words can you even use to describe what He has done for us!?
I just pray that God will prepare my heart to be ready for whatever He has in store for me in Arizona. I hope it’s something big. 🙂
Until then, my prayer is also that he will help me survive this week. With a paper due tomorrow along with a big icky Spanish test, another paper due Wed., two tests later this week, plus readings for Bible class, I’m pretty much swamped. More so than I realized until right now actually. Great.
So now I’m off to do work. But for the most part it’s work I enjoy, and I know it’s part of God’s plan for me. If I can just give the stress to him and motivate myself to be productive, I should be good.