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The Poetry That Is Life

Trying to find the beauty, the poetry, in every moment

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goals

Goals

Well, besides the fact that it is now March, I think the fact that I am currently on Spring Break and thus halfway through the semester makes it a little late to write an entry reflecting on the last part of 2009, the fall semester of Sophomore year. Suffice it to say that I’ve reflected on it for myself, and have tried to learn from it.  It’s funny how at times you can look back and be happy with how things played out and how you handled yourself, and at times it feels like such a lose and you think you could have done so much more with the time you had…

Anyway, instead of writing the promised year in review part 3, I’m going to share a survey of sorts I came across about goals.  I just happened upon it on a friend’s facebook, and thought it was a really good thing to reflect on.  Continue reading “Goals”

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Just Dreamin’ (Both kinds)

I had a quite a strange dream last night. Among other things that I can’t remember, I embarked on a (supposedly) cross-country journey with two twelve(ish)-year-old boys and a big white wagon. The journey ended at my house, and waiting to greet us was a pretty large group of people, including the Arizona mission group/family! Reunion! 🙂 The weird thing was, I didn’t even see half the group, and stayed only about fifteen minutes. However, that was long enough for an…interesting…conversation to ensue with someone who, in the dream, was apparently part of the group, and in real life was not.

Yesterday I went to see Up for a second time—this time in 3D—with my mom and best friend. Up is a really good movie (more on that in a minute) and I would definitely recommend seeing it in 3D if at all possible, it adds a lot to the movie.

We then were practically chased by the storms, so we stopped and stayed in a book store (yes!!) until they cleared out (or melted away, as my dad so vividly described it at dinner). We got caught in typical Friday afternoon congestion on the way home, but thankfully there were no serious damage or wrecks that we saw.

Then today we got to spend some time with some extended family on the mountain, which was enjoyable.

But now some more about the movie. I wouldn’t necessarily classify Up as just a kids film because, besides being sad at times, it really has a message that can speak to an older crowd.

The heart of Up is basically about dreams and goals, and how they don’t always materialize the way we plan them, but that they can be just as fulfilling, regardless. This is something that, when I’m completely honest with myself, really scares me. Being from a small town, I see so many people who have been here their entire lives, and I don’t want that life for myself. I can’t stand the idea of living in the shadow of the past. I hear it all the time: “Oh so-and-so? Yeah, that’s old so-and-so’s daughter, you know, they lived down on such-and-such street? Yeah, she married some fellow from over there in such-and-such and moved into a little house down such-and-such way.” I DON’T WANT THAT TO BE ME.

I’m definitely a dreamer. And yes, my dreams change sometimes, to varying degrees. Some fade, some stay constant. Like most people, I want to travel. Live different places. Experience everything I possibly can. Achieve personal goals. Do “big” things. Do important work for God’s Kingdom. And I hate the thought that things may not go the way I want them too. But I think when it comes down to it, the underlying reason is because I’m afraid of regretting missed opportunities, being disappointed in myself, and living life unfulfilled.

I could tell you all the times I teared up during Up, all the sentimental moments, but I’ll refrain. What’s important is the meaning behind it: just because you don’t do something in your life that you wanted to, doesn’t mean that the life you did live was worth any less. Small things can be big things in the long run. And who knows? Important work for the Kingdom might be reaching just one person. For me and my finite mind it’s sometimes hard to grasp, but God’s plans for me and going to be better than anything I could imagine, even if it’s not what I would imagine for myself in the first place. So for now, I’m going to hold onto my dreams, and trust God to mold my desires to fit what he has planned for me. With Him, I’ll never be disappointed, even if I do turn into “So-and-so’s daughter who lives down such-and such way.”

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