Just kidding, I don’t know how. 😂😂😂
In all seriousness though, this is an area I struggle in. I am an introvert in so many ways. I do like to be around people A LOT. But it’s exhausting, and I need time to myself to recharge after the fact.
I think lots of thoughts and have lots of ideas and am always inside my own head and communicate better through writing than through speech. I’d rather really think through something and have a well-constructed answer before I even speak.
I don’t like—and am not very good at—small talk.
So HOW am I supposed to be able to speak the “quality time” love language to someone?!?
I can’t be the only one out there with this problem. Surely someone has this COMPLETELY figured out. If you do, or know the person that does, give me that information ASAP. But until then, here are some humble ideas from yours truly on how to navigate the treacherous waters of quality time with others, when you’d like to be spending quality time with yourself.
1. Be the one to make plans
This is something that may be a stretch or challenge, but if you step up to make the plans yourself, you can sometimes better prepare yourself and feel comfortable with the situation, because you’ve planned it and know what to expect.
2. Plan what you are going to do or say
Closely related to the first tip is to plan what you are going to do or say. Pick your games for game night ahead of time to avoid the awkwardness of not knowing what to do. Look up conversation starters or plan questions ahead of time. It may sound corny, but if you think about it, it’s just organization and planning ahead, especially if small talk doesn’t come easy to you.
3. Put the phone down when you’re with others
This one may be a challenge as well, but for introverts, it may not be a challenge for the reason you think. It’s not necessarily because someone is addicted (although…well, they actually may be, but that’s not the point right now), it’s because, for an introvert, it may be a security blanket. When you can’t think of the right thing to say, you can pretend that you’re just occupied. Put it down anyway. It may be awkward, but if the person you are with speaks quality time as their love language, then they likely desire undivided attention or quality activities….and cell phone usage is neither. Better to give them awkward, heck maybe even SHORTER amounts of awkward undivided attention quality time, rather than seemingly snub them for technology.
4. If you need to recoup, recoup
Can introverts spend too much time alone? I would say yes. There’s nothing wrong with it being part of your personality to desire alone time to think, relax, and recharge. I don’t think you should be ashamed, or try to force yourself to be outgoing when what you really need is to recharge. You can’t give someone the best of yourself if you are not the best of yourself, so recharge when you need to so that you CAN focus and invest when you do spend quality time with others. Just don’t let your introverted tendencies get the best of you and become too much of a recluse 😛
Are you an introvert? Do you love an introvert? How do you make the most of quality time with others?
Thank you for reading! The #LoveBlog Challenge is hosted by Belle Brita, introduced to me and co-hosted by my friend Charlene at Enduring All Things. Check out the introductory blog post for the challenge and link-up here.