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The Poetry That Is Life

Trying to find the beauty, the poetry, in every moment

Month

June 2009

Rejoice!

Just some verses that stood out to me today as I was reading, and my thoughts about them. 

Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.  Luke 10:20

The seventy two (see context) were called to good works and to spread the gospel, and were given the power to do so through the holy spirit.  And yet even in doing good works, they were called to be humble.  Their celebration was not to be because of the wonderful works they were doing and seeing, even though that came from God.  Instead, they were to humbly rejoice in God’s mercy, that they would see heaven.  Do everything out of love for our merciful God! He deserves our praise! We can do nothing apart from him. 

But  the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary.  Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.  Luke 10:41-42

Oh how I worry and do not trust.  I worry myself sick over things I can’t control.  But He has a plan better than what I could plan (Luke 11:13).  And ultimately,  while we should serve (and be happy and excited to serve) out of love for our Lord, nothing is more important than spending time with God and learning from His instruction.

Resting on God

“O God Most High, Most Glorious

The thought of thine infinite serenity cheers me,

For I am toiling and moiling, troubled and distressed,

                but thou art for ever at perfect peace.

Thy designs cause thee no fear or care of unfulfilment,

                they stand fast as the eternal hills.

Thy power knows no bond,

                thy goodness no stint.

Thou bringest order out of confusion,

                and my defeats are thy victories:

The Lord God omnipotent reigneth.

I come to thee as a sinner with cares and sorrows,

                to leave every concern entirely to thee,

                                every sin calling for Christ’s precious blood;

Revive deep spirituality in my heart;

Let me live near to the great shepherd,

                hear his voice, know its tones, follow its calls.

Keep me from deception by causing me to abide in the truth,

                from harm by helping me to walk in the power of the Spirit.

Give me intenser faith in the eternal verities,

                burning into me by experience the things I know;

Let me never be ashamed of the truth of the gospel,

                that I may bear its reproach,

                                     vindicate it,

                                     see Jesus as its essence,

                                     know in it the power of the Spirit.

Lord, help me, for I am often lukewarm and chill;

                unbelief mars my confidence,

                sin makes me forget thee.

Let the weeds that grow in my soul be cut at their roots;

Grant me to know that I truly live only when I live to thee,

                that all else is trifling.

Thy presence alone can make me holy, devout, strong and happy.

Abide in me, gracious God.”

From The Valley of Vision:  A collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions (Emphasis mine)

Oh to know that other believers, whether they be past, present or future, have thought these thoughts, felt these emotions, prayed these prayers!  It is a comfort, for in these words I see myself. 

This is my prayer.

Just Dreamin’ (Both kinds)

I had a quite a strange dream last night. Among other things that I can’t remember, I embarked on a (supposedly) cross-country journey with two twelve(ish)-year-old boys and a big white wagon. The journey ended at my house, and waiting to greet us was a pretty large group of people, including the Arizona mission group/family! Reunion! 🙂 The weird thing was, I didn’t even see half the group, and stayed only about fifteen minutes. However, that was long enough for an…interesting…conversation to ensue with someone who, in the dream, was apparently part of the group, and in real life was not.

Yesterday I went to see Up for a second time—this time in 3D—with my mom and best friend. Up is a really good movie (more on that in a minute) and I would definitely recommend seeing it in 3D if at all possible, it adds a lot to the movie.

We then were practically chased by the storms, so we stopped and stayed in a book store (yes!!) until they cleared out (or melted away, as my dad so vividly described it at dinner). We got caught in typical Friday afternoon congestion on the way home, but thankfully there were no serious damage or wrecks that we saw.

Then today we got to spend some time with some extended family on the mountain, which was enjoyable.

But now some more about the movie. I wouldn’t necessarily classify Up as just a kids film because, besides being sad at times, it really has a message that can speak to an older crowd.

The heart of Up is basically about dreams and goals, and how they don’t always materialize the way we plan them, but that they can be just as fulfilling, regardless. This is something that, when I’m completely honest with myself, really scares me. Being from a small town, I see so many people who have been here their entire lives, and I don’t want that life for myself. I can’t stand the idea of living in the shadow of the past. I hear it all the time: “Oh so-and-so? Yeah, that’s old so-and-so’s daughter, you know, they lived down on such-and-such street? Yeah, she married some fellow from over there in such-and-such and moved into a little house down such-and-such way.” I DON’T WANT THAT TO BE ME.

I’m definitely a dreamer. And yes, my dreams change sometimes, to varying degrees. Some fade, some stay constant. Like most people, I want to travel. Live different places. Experience everything I possibly can. Achieve personal goals. Do “big” things. Do important work for God’s Kingdom. And I hate the thought that things may not go the way I want them too. But I think when it comes down to it, the underlying reason is because I’m afraid of regretting missed opportunities, being disappointed in myself, and living life unfulfilled.

I could tell you all the times I teared up during Up, all the sentimental moments, but I’ll refrain. What’s important is the meaning behind it: just because you don’t do something in your life that you wanted to, doesn’t mean that the life you did live was worth any less. Small things can be big things in the long run. And who knows? Important work for the Kingdom might be reaching just one person. For me and my finite mind it’s sometimes hard to grasp, but God’s plans for me and going to be better than anything I could imagine, even if it’s not what I would imagine for myself in the first place. So for now, I’m going to hold onto my dreams, and trust God to mold my desires to fit what he has planned for me. With Him, I’ll never be disappointed, even if I do turn into “So-and-so’s daughter who lives down such-and such way.”

You learn something new every day…

Lesson Learned Yesterday: Don’t watch Forensic Files (or any other true crime show) at night.

Lesson Learned Today: Check the card before you attempt to gas up. You can’t gas up at one service station using a credit card that meant is for another one. ;P

God is so good

And so faithful to provide. He has given me encouragement through unexpected means just when I needed it most. Granted, there are still issues I’m struggling with. Small town life isn’t necessarily easier, but I’m trying to make the best of it, and I hope to do so even better in the future. It has been a blessing to reconnect with hometown friends, and my prayer is that God will help me really connect even more so than I already have.

I have also been blessed tremendously by finally sitting down and doing some study that I have been meaning to for a while, and the thirst that I felt earlier in the year that had sadly diminished to an extent since the end of school, has been ignited anew. Praise God! And oddly enough (this is one of those very “unexpected means”) my soul was so uplifted and encouraged last night as I read…a poetry review. (More on that to come later.)

I do feel that I haven’t been as diligent as I should be in keeping in touch with friends from Harding. For that I am truly sorry, and I hope to remedy that soon. Just know that even though I haven’t picked up the phone and called, you’ve been in my thoughts, on my heart, and in my prayers.

Please pray for me as I continue to study. I feel like God is really challenging me right now, but in a way that is comforting to me, because I know that He is there in my life, and is answering my prayer to draw me always closer to Him.

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